Why Haven’t I Changed After So Many Years of Faith?

By Jinru, Henan Province

Not long ago, whenever a brother or sister pointed out my failings or did not heed my opinion I was either quietly unconvinced or directly refuted it. I regretted my actions later, but when faced with these things, I couldn’t help but reveal my corrupt disposition. I was deeply troubled by this, and thought: “Why is it that others’ words can shame me into anger? And why has my corrupt disposition not changed a bit despite eight years of following God?” I became awash in anxiety, so I brought my confusion in front of God; I prayed to God and sought from Him many times, asking Him to enlighten me to be able to know the root of why my corrupt disposition had not changed.

One day during my devotions, I saw a passage of a sermon: “Everyone loathes their own arrogance and conceit, their crookedness and deceitfulness. Most people change to some extent; certain people, who are arrogant and conceited and lack reason, and who are crooked and deceitful by nature, change only very slightly and so their expressions and behavior remain almost unchanged: Their arrogance, conceit, crookedness and deceitfulness remain plain to see. This is related to their experiences. From start to finish, they do not pursue a change in their disposition, but only observe how others enter into life. And as a result, they hinder themselves. For they only see the arrogance and conceit of others, and believe only others should be judged and chastised by God. They think they themselves have not resisted God, and God’s judgment and chastisement is only for others. Reading God’s word from this peculiar perspective, it is no wonder they do not change” (The Fellowship From the Above). At this point I had an awakening. I realized the reason I had not cast off my corrupt disposition despite following God for many years was that I had believed in God, but not sought to change my disposition. This came about because I had only paid attention to how others entered into life, but I had not pursued the truth and had not focused on my own entry into life. At that point I could not help but think of scenes from the past of me rushing around working in the church: When reading the words of God, I never linked them to my own state. I always taught others and measured them against God’s words. In gatherings, when I shared fellowship on the truth it was only to solve the problems and difficulties of others, and I never looked for the truth I myself should enter into. Particularly when I fellowshiped on the words of God’s revelation of man’s corrupt essence, my examples were of other brothers and sisters, using their failures as warnings while I very rarely used God’s words to understand my own state and find my own entry. … And so year after year passed, yet my own entry into life remained almost a blank. Yet I, so foolish, still thought that I was a man of compassion, that I was bearing a burden for the lives of my brothers and sisters. This has been particularly true over the last year since the church arranged for me to partner with a young sister to fulfill our duties together, and I continued to bear my “burden,” focusing on observing her entry into life. When that sister revealed herself to be arrogant and self-righteous I would rush to use God’s word to fellowship with her, but inside, I was actually thinking to myself: “You’re just so arrogant.” When that sister could not free herself from negativity because she was constrained by her concerns over her future and fate, I found the appropriate words of God to read with her and communicated that God wishes to save us, but inside I held her in contempt: There is little time left and yet you still seek blessings so fervently?” When that sister opened up and told me how she was often suspicious of people, I spoke of the truth of being an honest person, but inside she annoyed me. I thought: “You are such a pain.” When that sister was in a bad state but could not figure out why, I told her to examine herself, to dissect her nature, but when it came to myself I did not pay attention to using God’s word to understand and analyze myself based on what I revealed. Was it not that I thought only others were too corrupt and should be judged and chastised by God, while placing myself beyond God’s word? Was I not only paying attention to the entry of others and hinder myself? God’s words reveal that all of mankind has been corrupted by Satan, that our natures and essences are all the same, but I did not pay any mind to using God’s words to reflect on and know myself or to focus on my own entry into life. Instead, I stayed laser-focused on others. Wasn’t that so arrogant of me? Wasn’t that neglecting what I should have been doing? Only at that moment did I come to realize I was as poor and pitiful as a penniless street beggar, and my heart was filled with regret.

Later, I saw that God’s word says: “People say things like this: Put aside your prospects, be more realistic. You ask that people dispense with thoughts of being blessed—but what about yourself? Do you negate people’s ideas of being blessed and yourself seek blessings? You don’t allow others to receive blessings but secretly think of them yourself—what does that make you? A con artist! When you act thus, does your conscience not stand accused? In your heart, do you not feel indebted? Are you not a fraudster? You dig out the words in the hearts of others, but say nothing of those in your own—what a worthless piece of trash you are!” (“Chapter 42” of Interpretations of the Mysteries of God’s Words to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s word, as sharp as a sword, pierced my heart and left me deeply ashamed. I thought of all I had done. Was I not a swindler, as God revealed? On the surface I was doing my duty, but in actuality I was using my enthusiasm to dishonestly gain God’s trust so that I could survive. On the surface I was fellowshiping about the truth and helping my brothers and sisters solve their problems, but I was actually using words and doctrines to defraud them of their esteem and admiration, with the aim of gaining status in their hearts. I told others not to lust after the blessings of status, not to be arrogant, yet I often looked down on others from the position of my status and was unable to treat my brothers and sisters correctly. When they pointed out my deficiencies, I was even full of defiance inside. I asked others to give up their intentions of obtaining blessings, and not to be controlled by their future and fate, while I often made plans for my future and fretted over my own gains and losses. I was annoyed by the deceitfulness and suspicion of others, while I often observed their expressions and worried about what they thought of me. I told others to understand themselves, to grasp their innermost thoughts to dissect their nature, while I didn’t utter a peep about my own malicious intentions, and my words and actions went unobserved by God. … Only after thinking back on my actions and behaviors did I see clearly that for so many years I had often talked big and was content spouting literal doctrines, but I had not been focused on entering into reality and living out God’s words. As a result, I still didn’t have any understanding of myself, nor had my life disposition changed much. Rather, it had become more and more arrogant. Just as God brought to light: “The more they understand of the doctrines, the more arrogant their dispositions become” (“People Make Too Many Demands of God” in Records of Christ’s Talks). I had always regarded the doctrines I held as my own capital, but did not pay any mind to understanding myself and seeking entry into life. And so how could I have any change in my life disposition by experiencing things that way? Today God’s practical work and words provide us with all the truth we need. He wishes us to use the opportunity of fulfilling our duty to bring the truth into our day-to-day lives to inform our experiences and our entering in, as well as to provide that to our brothers and sisters. But I focused only on arming myself with letters and doctrines, and regarded expounding upon doctrines as my duty. I had others practice the truth while I myself did not practice it or enter in. As a result, after many years of having faith in God I hadn’t had any change at all in my disposition. Wasn’t that harming both others and myself? I thought of Paul, who just equipped himself with literal doctrines to tell other people about so as to elevate and bear witness to himself. However, he did not practice or experience the Lord Jesus’ words, and he did not bring the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment and illumination into his own entry. This led to him working for many years without any kind of dispositional change. On the contrary, he became more and more arrogant to the point that he said that he was Christ. He seriously offended God’s disposition and in the end suffered God’s punishment. How was the path I was taking any different from Paul’s? If I still did not repent and change, I would certainly end up just as Paul did.

Realizing all of this, I was full of regret and self-recrimination, and was full of gratitude for God. I prostrated myself before God and prayed: “Oh God, thank You for Your enlightenment and illumination, which allowed me to see my failing to change my disposition despite many years of faith was due to only paying attention to work and arming myself with letters and doctrines rather than paying attention to my entry into life. I hate that I am too arrogant and ignorant, that I don’t love the truth, and so have missed many opportunities to enter into the truth and to gain a transformation in my disposition. Going forward, I am willing to seek and understand the truth better through Your words, to seek for a deeper understanding of myself, to earnestly and pragmatically practice God’s word and enter into the truth, and to live out the likeness of a true human being.”

Recommendation：if the Eastern Lightning is the true way, why has the CCP government consistently engaged in frantic oppression, arrests, and persecution against the Eastern Lightning?

Thanks and Praise to Almighty God

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Tribulation Inspired My Love for God

Tribulation Inspired My Love for God

Meng Yong Shanxi Province

I am by nature an honest person, which is why I have always been bullied by other people. As a result, I have tasted the coldness of the world of man and felt my life empty and without meaning. After I started believing in Almighty God, through the reading of God’s words and living the church life, I enjoyed an earnestness and joy in my heart I had never felt before. Seeing the brothers and sisters of The Church of Almighty God love each other like a family made me realize that only God is righteous, and that only in The Church of Almighty God is there light. Through several years of personally experiencing Almighty God’s work, I have come to truly appreciate that the words of Almighty God can indeed change people and save people. Almighty God is love, and He is salvation. So that more people can enjoy God’s love and seek and receive God’s salvation, my brothers and sisters and I all strived to do our best to spread the gospel, but we never expected to be captured and persecuted by the Communist Party.

On January 12, 2011, several brothers and sisters and I drove to a place to spread the gospel, and ended up being reported by wicked people. Not long after, the county government instructed officers from various law enforcement departments, such as the vice squad, national security forces, the anti-drug squad, armed police forces, and the local police department, to come around in more than 10 police vehicles to arrest us. When a brother and I were preparing to drive away, we saw seven or eight police wielding batons furiously beating another brother. At that point, four police officers ran over quickly and cut off our car. One of the wicked officers pulled out the car keys without any explanation, and ordered us to stay in the car and not move. By then, I saw that that brother had already been beaten to the point where he was sitting on the ground, unable to move. I could not help but be filled with righteous indignation and rushed out of the car to stop their violence, but the wicked police twisted my arm and pushed me aside. I tried to reason with them: “Whatever it is, we can talk about it. How can you just start beating people?” They viciously yelled back: “Hurry up and get back to your car, you’re going to get yours soon!” Later, they took us to the police station, and our car was also forcibly impounded.

After nine o’clock that night, two police officers came to interrogate me. When they saw that they could not get any useful information out of me, they grew flustered and exasperated, gnashing their teeth in anger as they cursed: “Damn it, we’ll take care of you later!” They then locked me in the interrogation waiting room. At 11:30 at night, two officers took me into a room without surveillance cameras. I had a feeling they were going to use violence against me, so I started praying to God repeatedly in my heart, begging for God to protect me. At this time, a wicked police officer surnamed Jia came to interrogate me: “Have you been in a Volkswagen Jetta in these last few days?” I answered no, and he furiously yelled: “Other people have already seen you, and yet you still deny it?” After saying it, he slapped me viciously across the face. All I felt was the burning pain on my cheek. He then roared loudly: “Let’s see how tough you are!” He picked up a wide belt as he spoke and kept whipping it across my face, I don’t know how many times I was whipped, but I could not help but scream out in pain time and time again. Upon seeing this, they pulled the belt around my mouth. A few wicked officers then put a blanket over my body before beating me furiously with their batons, only stopping when they became too tired to catch their breaths. I had been beaten so badly that my head was spinning and my body hurt like every bone had scattered apart. At the time I did not know why they were treating me in this way, but later on I found out that they put a blanket over me to prevent the beating from leaving marks on my flesh. Putting me in a room without surveillance, gagging my mouth, and covering me with a blanket—it was all because they were afraid that their wicked deeds would be exposed. I never thought the dignified “people’s police” could be so treacherous and vicious! When the four of them got tired from beating me, they changed to another method to torture me: Two wicked officers twisted one of my arms back and forcefully tugged it upward, while another two wicked officers lifted my other arm over the shoulder to the back and pulled it down hard. But my two hands could not be pulled together no matter what, so they drove a vicious knee into my arm. All I heard was a “click,” and my two arms felt like they had been torn off. It hurt so much that I nearly expired. They called this type of torture method “Carrying a Sword on the Back,” which normal people would not be able to endure at all. It did not take long for me to lose sensation in both my hands. This was still not enough for them to give up, so they ordered me to kneel down to add to my suffering. I was in so much pain that my whole body broke out in a cold sweat, my head was ringing, and my consciousness began to grow a little blurry. I thought: I’ve lived for so many years; even though I’ve constantly had illnesses, I’ve never had the feeling of being unable to control my own consciousness. Am I about to die? Later on, I really couldn’t take it anymore, so I thought of seeking relief through death. In that moment, the word of God enlightened me from within: “Today, most people don’t realize: They believe that suffering is without value…. The suffering of some people reaches a certain point, and their thoughts turn to death. This is not the true love of God; such people are cowards, they have no perseverance, they are weak and powerless!” (“Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words made me suddenly awaken and realize that my way of thinking was not in line with God’s intentions and would only make God sad and disappointed. Because amid this pain and suffering, what God wants to see is not me seeking death, but that I can swallow humiliation and bear the heavy burden, and that I can rely on God’s guidance to battle Satan, to bear witness to God, and make Satan ashamed and defeated. Seeking death would be falling right into Satan’s scheme, meaning I wouldn’t be able to bear witness and would instead become a mark of shame. After understanding God’s intentions, I prayed to God silently: Oh God! Reality has shown that my nature is too weak. I don’t have the will and courage to suffer for You and wanted to die just from a bit of physical pain. Now I know that I cannot do anything to shame Your name and must stand witness and satisfy You no matter how much suffering I have to endure. But at this time, my physical body is in extreme pain and weak, and I know that it is very difficult to overcome the beatings of these demons on my own. Please give me more confidence and strength so that I can rely on You to defeat Satan. I swear on my life that I will not betray You or sell out my brothers and sisters. As I repeatedly prayed to God, my heart slowly became at ease. The wicked police saw that I was barely breathing and were afraid they would have to bear responsibility if I died, so they came to release my handcuffs. But my arms had already stiffened, and the cuffs were so tight that they became very hard to undo. If they used any more force my arms would have broken. The four wicked policemen took several minutes to release the handcuffs before dragging me back to the interrogation waiting room.

The next afternoon, the police arbitrarily pinned a “criminal offense” on me and took me back to my home to raid it, and then sent me to a detention center. As soon as I entered the detention center, four correctional officers confiscated my cotton jacket, trousers, boots, and watch, as well as the 1,300 yuan in cash I had on me. They made me change into their standard prison uniform and forced me to spend 200 yuan to buy a blanket from them. Afterward, the correctional officers locked me up with the armed robbers, murderers, rapists, and drug smugglers. When I entered my cell, I saw twelve bald prisoners eyeing me with hostility. The atmosphere was gloomy and terrifying, and I felt my heart suddenly rise up to my throat. Two of the heads of the cell walked up to me and asked: “What are you in here for?” I said: “Spreading the gospel.” Without another word, one of them slapped me across the face twice, and said: “You’re a ‘Bishop,’ aren’t you?” The other prisoners all started laughing savagely and mocked me by asking: “Why don’t you let your God rescue you from here?” Amid the jeering and the ridiculing, the cell head slapped me across the face a few more times. From then on, they nicknamed me “Bishop” and often humiliated and mocked me. The other cell head saw the slippers I was wearing and arrogantly shouted: “You don’t know your own place at all. Are you worthy of wearing these shoes? Take them off!” As he said it, he forced me to take them off and change into a pair of their worn-out slippers. They also gave away my blanket for the other prisoners to share. Those prisoners fought back and forth for my blanket, and in the end left me with an old blanket that was thin, torn, dirty, and smelly. Instigated by the correctional officers, these prisoners subjected me to all sorts of hardships and torment. The light was always on in the cell at night, but a cell head said to me with an evil grin: “Turn that light off for me.” As I could not do it (there wasn’t even a switch), they started laughing at me and mocking me again. The next day, a few juvenile prisoners forced me to stand in a corner and memorize the prison rules, threatening: “You’re going to get it if you don’t memorize it within two days.” I could not help but be terrified, and the more I thought about what I had been through the last few days, the more frightened I became. The only thing I could do was to keep calling out to God and beg for God to protect me so I could overcome it. At this moment, a hymn of God’s word enlightened me: “If you can still love God regardless of whether you are imprisoned or ill, whether others sneer at or slander you, or whether you come to a dead end, this means that your heart has turned to God” (“Has Your Heart Turned to God” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). God’s word gave me power and pointed out a path for me to practice—seek loving God and turn my heart to God! In that moment, it suddenly became crystal clear in my heart: God allowing this suffering to befall me was not to torment me or intentionally make me suffer, but to train me to turn my heart to God in such an environment, so that I can resist the control of Satan’s dark influences and so my heart can still be close to God and love God, never complaining and always obeying God’s orchestrations and arrangements. With this in my mind, I was no longer afraid. No matter how Satan treats me, all I shall care about is giving myself to God and doing all I can to seek loving God and satisfying God, never bowing my head to Satan.

Life in prison is practically hell on earth. The prison guards kept coming up with ways to torture people: I was squeezed in with several other prisoners when sleeping at night. Even turning in bed was difficult. Since I was the last to arrive, I even had to sleep next to the toilet. After being captured, I didn’t sleep for several days and became so sleepy that I couldn’t take it and would doze off. The prisoners on duty who were standing guard would come to harass me, intentionally flicking me on the head until I woke up before they would leave. Once, at around three in the morning, a prisoner woke me up on purpose because he wanted to check the size of my long johns to see if he could fit into them. He brought a dirty and torn set of thin long johns to exchange with mine. Those were the coldest days of the year, but these prisoners still wanted to take away the only set of long johns I had on me. The people in there were as barbaric as beasts. They had vicious dispositions and sinister hearts, without a shred of humanity, like demons who torture people in hell for fun. Moreover, the food there was even worse than what was fed to dogs and pigs. The first time, I received half a bowl of congee, and saw that there were many black spots in it. I didn’t know what they were, and the color of the congee was also blackish. It was very difficult to swallow. I really wanted to fast at the time, but God’s words enlightened me: “… during these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should go on to the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God, and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (“Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words were full of love and affection like the comforting of a mother, arousing my courage to face suffering. God wants me to keep on living, but I was too weak, constantly wanting relief through death. I don’t even cherish myself; it is still God who loves me the most. A warmth suddenly surged in my heart, making me so emotional that tears burst from my eyes and dripped into the congee. Being moved by God’s love once again gave me energy. I must eat this meal regardless of how it tastes. I finished off the congee in one breath. After breakfast, the cell head made me scrub the floors. These were the coldest days of the year and there was no hot water, so I could only use cold water for the cleaning cloth. The cell head also ordered me to scrub like this every day. Then, several armed robbers made me memorize the prison rules. If I couldn’t memorize them, they would punch and kick me; getting slapped in the face was even more common. Facing such an environment, I often wondered what I would have to do to be able to satisfy God’s intentions. At night, I pulled my blanket over my head and prayed silently: Oh God, You allowed this environment to befall me, so Your good intentions must lie therein. Please reveal Your intentions to me. At that moment, God’s words enlightened me: “Flowers and grass are spread over the mountains and plains, but before the spring arrives they can add luster to My glory on earth. Can mankind accomplish this? Can they bear witness for Me on earth before My return? Can they offer themselves for the sake of My name in the nation of the great red dragon?” (“The Thirty-fourth Utterance” of God’s Utterances to the Entire Universe in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Yes, the grass and I are all God’s creation. God created us to manifest Him, to glorify Him. The grass is able to add luster to God’s glory on earth before the spring arrives, meaning it has fulfilled its duty as a creation of God. My duty today is to obey God’s orchestration and to bear witness to God before Satan, to let everyone see that Satan is a living demon who harms and devours man, while God is the one true God who loves and saves man. Enduring all this suffering and humiliation now is not because I committed an offense, but is for the sake of God’s name. Enduring this suffering is glorious. The more Satan humiliates me, the more I have to stand on God’s side and love God. That way, God can gain glory, and I would have fulfilled the duty I should have fulfilled. As long as God is happy and pleased, my heart will also receive comfort. I am willing to endure the final suffering to satisfy God and let all be orchestrated by God. When I started to think this way, I felt especially moved in my heart, and was once again unable to control my tears: “Oh God, You are too adorable! I have followed You for so many years, but never had I felt Your tender affection like I have today, or felt as close to You as I do today.” I completely forgot my own suffering and became immersed in this moving feeling for a long, long time …

On my third day at the detention center, a correctional officer took me to their office. Once there, I saw more than a dozen people staring at me with peculiar eyes. One of them held a video camera in front of me to my left, while another walked up to me with a microphone, asking: “Why do you believe in Almighty God?” That was when I realized that this was a media interview, so I answered with proud humility: “Since I was little, I have often been subject to people’s bullying and cold shoulders, and I’ve seen people mutually deceive and take advantage of each other. I felt that this society was too dark, too perilous; people were living empty and helpless lives, with nothing to look forward to and with no life goals. Later, when someone preached the gospel of Almighty God to me, I started believing in it. After believing in Almighty God, I have felt other believers treat me like family. No one in The Church of Almighty God plots against me. Everyone is mutually understanding and caring. They look after each other, and are not afraid to speak what’s on their minds. In Almighty God’s word I have found the purpose and value of life. I think believing in God is pretty good.” The reporter then asked: “Do you know why you are here?” I responded: “After believing in Almighty God, I no longer care about personal gains and losses or honor and disgrace. My heart is turning more and more toward kindness, and I am more and more willing to be a good person. Seeing how Almighty God’s word can truly change people and turn them into good people, I thought if all of mankind can believe in God, then our country would also be much more orderly and the crime rate would also drop. Hence, I decided to tell this good news to other people, but I never knew that such a good deed would be illegal in China. And so I was arrested and brought here.” The reporter saw that my responses were not advantageous toward them, so he immediately stopped the interview and turned around and left. At that moment, the deputy head of the National Security Brigade was so furious that he kept stomping his feet. He stared at me viciously, gnashing his teeth and whispering: “You just wait and see!” But I was not at all afraid of his threats or intimidation. Conversely, I felt deeply honored to have been able to bear witness to God on such an occasion, and moreover I gave glory to God for the exaltation of God’s name and the defeat of Satan.

Temperatures were very low on the day of January 17. As the wicked police had confiscated my cotton coat, I only wore a set of long johns and ended up catching a cold. I came down with a high fever and also could not stop coughing. At night, I wrapped myself up in a worn blanket, enduring the torment of illness while also thinking about the endless mistreatment and abuse of the prisoners toward me. I felt very desolate and helpless. Just as my misery reached a certain extent, a hymn of God’s word echoed in my ear: “If You give me sickness, and take my freedom, I can continue living, but were Your chastisement and judgment to leave me, I would have no way to go on living. If I were without Your chastisement and judgment, I would have lost Your love, a love that is too deep for me to put into words. Without Your love, I would live under the domain of Satan …” (“Peter’s Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). This was Peter’s genuine and sincere prayer before God. Peter was never driven by the flesh. What he loved dearly and valued was God’s chastisement and judgment. As long as God’s chastisement and judgment did not leave him, his heart would receive its greatest comfort. I should now also follow the example of Peter’s pursuit and understanding. The flesh is corrupted and will inevitably decay. Even if I encounter illness and lose my freedom, it is suffering I should bear. But if I lose God’s chastisement and judgment, that is equivalent to losing God’s presence and love, and also means losing the chance to be cleansed. That is what is most painful. Under God’s enlightenment, I once again experienced God’s love. I also hated my own weakness and worthlessness, and saw that my nature is too selfish, never showing any consideration toward God’s feelings of sadness. The next day, several other prisoners in the same cell fell ill, but my high fever miraculously receded. I felt God’s care and protection toward me and also saw the wonders of God’s work. Over the following few days, the small steamed buns we ate got even smaller, so some of the prisoners started complaining: “Ever since the arrival of the ‘Bishop,’ we’ve first had plague and now we have famine.” They said it was all my fault and that it would only be reasonable if I received the death sentence. One night, a vendor came by the window and the cell head bought a lot of ham, dog meat, chicken thighs, and so forth. In the end, he ordered me to pay. I said I didn’t have the money, so he said viciously: “If you don’t have the money I will slowly torment you!” The next day, he made me wash the bedsheets, clothes, and socks. The correctional officers in the detention center also made me wash their socks. In the detention center, I had to endure their beatings nearly every day. Whenever I could bear it no longer, I would always be guided inside by God’s words: “You must do your final duty for God during your time on earth. In the past, Peter was crucified upside down for God; however, you should satisfy God in the end, and exhaust all of your energy for God. What can a creature do for God? So you should give yourself to the mercy of God sooner rather than later. As long as God is happy and pleased, then let Him do whatever He wants. What right do men have to complain?” (“Interpretation of the Forty-first Utterance” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words gave me infinite power. Even though from time to time I would still be subject to the attacks, humiliation, condemnation, and beatings of the prisoners, my soul was able to achieve comfort and joy. Like a powerful warm flow, God’s love pushed me to continue on, enabling me to truly feel that God’s love is too great.

On morning, a correctional officer specifically delivered a sheet of newspaper. The prisoners grinned hideously as they used a mocking tone to read out words from the newspaper slandering and blaspheming Almighty God. I was so furious inside I began gnashing my teeth. The prisoners came over to ask me what it was all about, and I said loudly: “This is a smear by the Communist Party!” Listening to these prisoners all just following the crowd and smearing the truth and blaspheming God by speaking the same language as the devil, I seemingly saw the coming of their end. As the sin of blaspheming God shall never be forgiven, anyone who offends God’s disposition will receive the heaviest punishment and retribution! By doing this, the Communist Party is taking all the people of China to their ultimate doom, completely exposing its true face as a soul-eating demon! Later the police officer in charge of my case interrogated me again. This time, he did not use torture to try to force a confession, and instead changed to using a “kind” face to ask me: “Who is your leader? I’ll give you another chance. If you tell us, you’ll be all right. I will show you great leniency. You were innocent in the first place, but other people ratted you out. So why cover for them? You seem like such a well-behaved person. Why give your life for them? If you tell us, you can go home. Why stay here and suffer?” These two-faced hypocrites saw that the hard approach didn’t work, so they decided to try the soft approach. They really are full of cunning tricks and old masters of machinations and maneuvers! Seeing that hypocritical face of his filled my heart with hate for this bunch of demons. I said to him: “I’ve told you everything I know. I don’t know anything else.” Upon seeing my resolute attitude, he knew he could not get anything out of me, so he walked away dejectedly.

After being held at the detention center for half a month, I was released only after the police asked my family to pay 8,000 yuan in bond money. But they warned me not to go anywhere and that I must stay at home and guarantee to be on call. On the day I was released, the correctional officers did not give me any food to eat intentionally, while the prisoners said: “Your God is amazing. We were not sick people, but we all became sick people here. You came here full of illnesses, but now you’re leaving without any illness. Good on you!” In this moment, my heart became even more thankful and full of praise toward God! My uncle is a prison guard. He kept suspecting that I was released because my father has a special connection to someone powerful, or else there’s no way I would have been released from a high-security prison within half a month—at the very least it should have been three months. My whole family knew very well that this was determined by God’s omnipotence and that it was God revealing His wonderful work on me. I saw clearly that this was the contest between God and Satan. No matter how savage and vicious Satan is, it will always be defeated by God. From then on, I became convinced that everything I encountered was part of God’s arrangement. In late May, 2011, under the crime of “disturbing social order,” the Communist police got me sentenced to one year of re-education through labor, to be served outside prison under surveillance, and suspended for two years.

After experiencing this persecution and tribulation, I had an understanding and could discern the evil essence of the atheist Communist Party of China, and developed a deep-seated hatred toward it. All it does is use violent methods to maintain its ruling status, striking and suppressing all just causes and detesting the truth to the extreme. It is God’s greatest enemy. So it can achieve its goal of permanently controlling people, it stops at nothing to obstruct and disrupt God’s work on earth, furiously suppressing and persecuting believers of God, using both the carrot and the stick, getting others to do its bidding, saying one thing while doing another, and concealing deception and schemes at every turn. The contrast it provides allows me to see even more that only God’s word can bring people life during suffering. When people are at their most desperate or at the brink of death, God’s word is like the water of life, nourishing people’s dry hearts. It’s also like a miraculous elixir that can cure the wounds of people’s souls, rescuing them from danger, fueling their lives with confidence and courage, and bringing them unlimited energy, letting them enjoy the sweetness of God’s word amid their suffering, that can give comfort to their souls, and make them feel that the vitality of God’s word is inexhaustible and never-ending. Throughout this half-month of prison life, if God had not been with me, using His words to remind, enlighten, and encourage me, there was no way my weak nature could have withstood such suffering. If it were not for God looking after and protecting me, there was no way my weak and fragile body could have withstood the torture and ill-treatment of the wicked police, which, even had it not tormented me to death, would have left my body sick and wounded. But God wonderfully protected me through those darkest, most difficult days, and even cured my original illness. God really is too almighty! His love for me is really too deep, too great! I really don’t know how to express my gratitude toward God, and can only say from the bottom of my heart: Oh God, I hope to love You ever deeper! No matter how rough and bumpy the road ahead is or how much suffering I must endure, I will obey Your orchestration and be determined to follow You to the end!

Although my physical body suffered a little through this experience, the benefits I have gained from it are significant. This is a turning point in my road of believing in God, as well as a new starting point in my road of believing in God. I feel deeply that, in the ten years I have believed in God, I have never appreciated God’s love as deeply as I do today, and truly felt that the value and meaning of believing in God, following God, and worshiping God is too great; and moreover, I have never been as willing to seek loving God and offer my remaining life to repay God’s love as much as I do today. I would like to take this opportunity to offer my heartfelt appreciation and praise. All glory and praise to Almighty God.

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Breaking Through the Fog to See the Light (part-3)

Breaking Through the Fog to See the Light （part-3）

The Picture of The Church of Almighty God

     Through reading the word of God and what my coworker fellowshiped, I suddenly realized: This is actually a spiritual struggle. God expresses the truth in the last days in order to save mankind, but Satan thinks up every conceivable way to use pressure and persecution by the CCP government to prevent me from believing in God and following God. It is afraid that I will accept God’s work in the last days and understand the truth. Thus I will distinguish its evil, hideous, satanic, demonic essence and betray and forsake it, and obtain God’s salvation. Today, I have finally seen Satan’s contemptible malice and understood the painstaking care and thought that God put into saving me. At that time, the emotions I had restrained for so long were finally set free, and I felt so happy as if I was seeing the light of day again. Thank God! Afterward, I will read more of the word of God and equip myself with the truth so as not to be taken advantage of by Satan.

Although I understood that my unbelieving families harassing me for believing in God was just one of Satan’s tricks, and that I should not be fooled by Satan, I was still rather worried that if the CCP government found out about my faith it would have an impact on the careers of my son and daughter-in-law. I was even more afraid of the impact it would have on my grandson going to school. So I told my coworker about my concerns and he read me another passage from the word of Almighty God: “God’s authority exists regardless of the circumstances; in all situations, God dictates and arranges every human fate and all things in accordance with His thoughts, His wishes. This will not change because humans change, and it is independent of man’s will, cannot be altered by any changes in time, space, and geography, for God’s authority is His very substance. … At all times God wields His authority, shows His might, continues His management work as always; at all times He rules all things, provides for all things, orchestrates all things, just as He always did. No one can change this. It is fact; it has been the unchanging truth since time immemorial!” (“God Himself, the Unique III” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). My coworker went on to fellowship about it: “God is the Creator, and is the sovereign over the heavens, earth, and everything within. He also controls the fate of every person, and whatever kind of work or future each of us has was decided long ago by God. This is something no one can decide or change by himself. Your son and daughter-in-law’s careers and future are all controlled by God. It doesn’t matter if they believe in God or not; their fate is dictated and arranged by God. It is unnecessary for us to be worried about this or that. Job was never worried about it, because it was clear to him that all he had was given to him by God, and whatever was conferred upon him or taken away from him was done by God. So we should only be concerned with praying to God, and entrust the future of our sons and daughters to God’s hands and have faith that God has a suitable plan….” Through these words fellowshiped to me about knowing God’s authority, I came to have faith in God, and was steady and at peace in my heart. I would no longer worry about the future of my son or daughter-in-law.

Afterward, through reading the word of God, I made progress in discerning the evil essence of the CCP government’s hostility to God. The word of Almighty God says: “The devil tightly trusses all of man’s body, it puts out both his eyes, and seals his lips firmly shut. The king of devils has rampaged for several thousand years, right up until today, when it still keeps a close watch on the ghost town, as if it were an impenetrable palace of demons; this pack of watchdogs, meanwhile, stare with glaring eyes, deeply fearful that God will catch them unawares and wipe them all out, leaving them without a place of peace and happiness. How could the people of a ghost town such as this have ever seen God?” (“Work and Entry (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). The Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life also says: “In the heart of the great red dragon, it thinks God has come to take away from it all the people who belong to it, and He is making an enemy of it. This great red dragon is a peremptory and unreasonable thing! Mankind is created by God, and God has the authority to save mankind. Originally, mankind belongs to God, and it is the great red dragon which has usurped the chosen people of God, corrupting and trampling on them at will, eventually devouring them all. However, when God comes to save mankind it antagonizes Him. We can see from this that the great red dragon’s essential nature is in opposition to heaven, reactionary, unreasonable, and absurd in the extreme. It is a wild beast and a demon” (“The True Significance of Forsaking the Great Red Dragon to Receiving Salvation” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (III)). Now, I understand that in this atheistic country the authority of the CCP is the authority of Satan. It does not permit God to come to this land and do the work of saving people, nor does it allow people to break free of its dark influence and be obtained by God, to be led by God into a beautiful destination. So it does all it can to resist and condemn the work of Almighty God, frantically disturbing and obstructing us from following Almighty God. If we do not have the truth, don’t know the schemes of the CCP, and don’t see into its evil and reactionary essence, it will be easy to be led astray by all the kinds of lies it disseminates, or to be frightened into submission by its repression and persecution. We won’t dare to come into the presence of God, and this means it has achieved its base purpose of devouring people and destroying God’s work of saving people. But there is no one who can penetrate God’s wisdom. God perfectly makes use of the persecution by the CCP to do service for perfecting the chosen people of God, to allow people to understand the truth, and to completely understand that the CCP government is a satanic demon which is full of enmity for the truth and takes God as its enemy, so they can completely forsake it and turn fully toward God. I give thanks to God for using His words to lead me and enlighten and illuminate me, which allowed me to distinguish the devilish essence of the CCP’s resistance to God and to no longer be restrained by its threats. I am also grateful that God caused my coworker to come and fellowship about the truth with me in a time when I was negative and weak, and when I had fallen down and lost my way. God saved me from being tempted by Satan, and made me break through Satan’s net and return to the presence of God and have an opportunity to receive salvation. I have resolved that no matter how many difficulties there are on the road ahead, I will follow Almighty God all the way to the end of the road!

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